A question that keeps coming up is “is there anything I can do to stop bird flu?”. The answer to this is yes. If we work together we can stop bird flu in it's tracks.
Vaccination
The quickest way to stop bird flu is to vaccinate every bird. This could easily be done by placing blunderbuss's filled with tablets at every port and border crossing. As birds fly over we simply fire the tablets at the birds thus vaccinating them. Unfortunately, this has been deemed too expensive so other measures will have to be used.
The international pharmaceutical companies developed a vaccine for H5N1 three years ago and have been sitting on it ever since waiting for an outbreak. Roughly three months after H5N1 starts spreading, when there are a plenty of people infected, the pharmaceutical companies will release their miracle cure which we will all have to pay an arm and a leg for.
Culls
Culling has been shown to be an highly ineffective way to stop H5N1 spreading but it's fun and something the whole family can get involved with. Suggested culling methods include shooting, stabbing, hitting with a large stick and burning at the steak. With a little effort it should be possible to remove all the birds from our countryside thus eliminating the problem of bird flu once and for all.
Ask God for Help
God has proved Himself to be useful at other times when great disasters have befallen us. Perhaps now would be a good time to start asking for some help. After all he made the birds surely he could unmake them for us as well.
Quarantine
Quarantine every bird and person that enters the UK especially those from places that we don't like very much. This will help keep the UK free from bird flu and make sure that the general population continues to believe that dragons live on the far side of the channel except around the Spanish Mediterranean coast which has been sanitized for our holidaying pleasure.